Life is busy. Life with an infant? Exponentially busier. As a result, parents often experience a whole range of difficult emotions: stress, anxiety, worry, fear, uncertainty, and exhaustion. Plus, postpartum depression also affects many new mothers. While having an infant is a joyful time, it is also a challenging time. However, it is important for parents and caregivers to actively practice self-care and lean on their support systems to maintain their own mental health because parental stress can impact infant mental health.
Infant Mental Health: How Parents’ Emotions Affect Babies
Starting in the womb and throughout the first several years of a child’s life, including infancy, the brain undergoes a rapid, significant period of growth. A baby’s primary caregivers have a major impact on this development, as experiences (along with nutrition, exposure to toxins, and infections) are a primary factor in determining how the baby’s brain develops.
Additionally, even in the first several months of life, babies can detect the moods and emotions modeled by their caregivers through tone of voice and facial expressions, as well as how they are handled, how their daily routines change, and how much stimulation they receive. Since babies absorb just about everything while learning to make sense of the world, stress can be absorbed too.
A parent’s moods impact infants in a variety of ways:
- Negative emotions trigger a physiological stress response in infants that can result in undesirable behavior changes (restlessness, fussiness, or colic)
- Babies imitate their parents’ moods (such as sadness, fear, or anger).
- Infants detect emotional unavailability in parents (even when parents are physically present), and this can hinder the baby’s ability to develop a healthy attachment.
Infants who do not receive consistent, calm, nurturing care experience chronic exposure to stress and suffer long-lasting effects with respect to their mental health and neurological development.
Mental Health With an Infant: Recognizing Parental Burnout
While life offers countless sources of normal stress, severe stress known as parental burnout is more serious. This state is marked by severe mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion that develops as a result of chronic parenting stress, holding oneself to unattainable standards, feeling isolated or unsupported, and/or dealing with high-demand situations (such as stressful life circumstances or caring for multiple children).
Stress causes parental burnout, and parental burnout exacerbates stress, leading to an unhealthy level of stress for the parent and creating an unhealthy environment for a baby.
Signs of parental burnout include:
- Extreme exhaustion
- Emotional detachment
- Irritability
- Reduced patience
- Sense of inadequacy
- Physical symptoms (headaches, muscle tension, insomnia, and frequent illness)
- Escapist fantasies
The primary goal for new parents should be to remember that, in order to care for their baby, they need to take care of themselves.
Self-Care Tips for New Parents
As a new parent, self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary and vital to your ability to be a good parent. To proactively avoid experiencing parental burnout, consider the following:
- Rest – Try to sleep when your baby sleeps. If you aren’t able, then use that time for quiet, relaxing activities.
- Ask for Help – Lean on your support system (family, friends, or a babysitter) so you can take a break.
- Maintain Your Physical Health – It might be difficult to go to the gym, but focus on staying hydrated, eating nutritious food, and taking vitamins.
- Prioritize Mental Health – Spend time in the sunshine, take your baby on a walk, keep a journal, or practice meditation.
- Talk About It – Stay connected with your friends and family, and consider joining a new parents group or class to avoid feeling isolated. When you share your experiences with others, you will find that you are not alone in your feelings and experiences.
- Prioritize “Me Time” – Schedule (and prioritize) time for yourself. Take a walk, get a massage, go to the gym, or spend time on a hobby.
- Set Boundaries – When you don’t feel like family members stopping by, or you don’t have the time or energy to help with a fundraiser (or something else), remember it’s okay to say no (and no excuse is necessary).
- Let Go of Perfection and Stop Saying “Should” – You don’t need to be a perfect parent, and you don’t need to keep a spotless house. Instead of thinking, “I should clean the bathroom more often,” think, “It would be nice if I had more energy for cleaning.” This removes the blame from yourself and frames the problem in a more solvable manner.
- Give Yourself Compassion – Give yourself grace and forgiveness for the mistakes you will undoubtedly make and the struggles you will undoubtedly encounter. Parenthood is tough, but it’s also rewarding and worth every moment.
Resources and Support for New Parents
A variety of resources are available to help support new parents with respect to financial and basic needs, mental health, home support, parenting education, social connection, and more. At Children’s Wellness Center, we also like to remind new parents that our pediatricians are here to support you while you navigate parenting. We invite and encourage you to attend our New Parents Class, where we cover a variety of important topics about caring for an infant and yourself.
We are here for you and can help connect you with available resources for new parents and infants to ensure you get the support you need to give your child the best possible start in life. To learn more about infant mental health or to request an appointment, please contact us.
